How To Face Your Fears Once And For All!
Fear is holding you back. You know it. I know it.
It’s a complete waste of time, and it’s keeping you from living the life you are meant to have.
Fear is destructive. It makes you believe you are weak, incapable, incompetent, and unworthy. As a result, you end up making choices that align with those false beliefs. But, you are not the real you when you live in fear. That is the truth.
The real you is courageous, strong, authentic, and beautiful.
This is your new mantra: I am brave. I am strong. And fear has no place in my life. It is not a part of me. I am stronger than fear.
A few years ago, I started practicing some of the habits listed below and quickly noticed the veil of self-doubt and hopelessness lift. Within a year, big things started happening. I got out of debt, took my kids to Hawaii, and bought a house.
These may be small potatoes for some, but for me, being a financially strapped single mother, they were huge.
I found some great tools to help me rise above my fears, so I could move past all the angst and trepidation that was holding me back. I hope they work for you!
1. Take the emotion out.
Don’t make it a big deal. Discomfort and pain are just part of life’s great adventure! There will be ups and downs, hills and valleys. Just go with the flow, yo.
Fear is what you make it. Think of it as a tiny mouse hiding behind a big scary mask — small, harmless, and scared of its own shadow.
2. Change your story.
Fear is an illusion. It isn’t real. What happened to you in the past has nothing to do with your present or future. Who you were then isn’t who you are now. For me, I am not the awkward, freckle-faced little girl who used to hide in the bathroom during lunch to avoid talking to people. (Ok, I’m still awkward and weird, but the difference is I embrace it! I love that part of me.)
3. Embrace the suck!
Sometimes there isn’t anything we can do to avoid pain or loss. We have to go through it. Some people try to prevent or deaden the feelings of pain with drugs, alcohol, pornography, and other things. They are afraid of the unknown — what will happen if they feel what they don’t want to feel.
The problem is, you may be able to escape your pain for a time, but it will eventually catch up to you. So, why not just get it over with, so you can move on with your life.
side note: I would strongly recommend seeking professional help when you are dealing with emotions stemming from intense trauma. Find a good therapist and surround yourself with people who love and support you.
4. Meditate daily.
Sometimes your mind just won’t shut up, and it’s extremely difficult to turn off all the negative noise. My solution for this? Meditation. If you were to start with any of these tips, I would choose this one. Daily meditation has totally changed my whole outlook on life, especially in dealing with fear.
Guided Meditation: The Trap. Breaking Free
5. Stop feeding the beast.
When I was a young mother, I was afraid of someone breaking into my house and killing me and my family then cutting us up into tiny little pieces. I would literally get up at least 10 times a night to check the locks on my front and back doors. I even slept with a bottle of pepper spray in each hand, just in case.
I finally woke up from this obsession after calling the cops to investigate a home invasion that turned out to be a floating balloon in our upstairs hallway. I realized that all the real-life crime stories and news on TV of kidnappings, torture, and mutilations were casting a warped and twisted view of reality. (You might be wondering about my fascination with the morbid and grim, but you’ll have to wait for that detailed revelation in a future article!)
Once I recognized what was contributing to this debilitating fear, I stopped watching and reading all forms of entertainment that fed it.
6. Study the fearless.
Learn from those who have conquered the beast. When I think of courage in the face of fear, these are a few of the people I've looked up to: Victor Frankl, Immaculée Ilibagiza, J.K Rowling, Louis Zamperini, Oprah Winfrey, Nelsen Mandela, among so many others.
Believe you can conquer, and you will!
Good things are waiting to happen in your life. Be grateful that you’re alive and learning and growing through your unique experiences, which are shaping you into the authentic and uniquely beautiful person you were always meant to be. Just let go and enjoy the ride. Fear has nothing on you!
